Honest

I am honestly no one to really follow. But the one I follow is. I can honestly say to you reading this that I love you. Not because I may know you, but I know Jesus. My heart is for Jesus, and when my eyes are fixed on the cross he gives me a piece of His heart that fully beats for you and loves you more than you can ever imagine.

To receive this love fully we have to be honest. This post I'm writing to you I will actually get the chance to speak to a group of high school students at church camp, but I fully feel it is to share with the world I can reach in whatever capacity I can on this blog.

I've been inspired by a song, that keeps replaying in my head, and has hit my heart. So if possible please play this song after you read, because it will become much more relevant to you. If We're Honest by Franchesca Battistelli

"Dark seems safer than the light" "We build walls nobody can get through" "living life afraid of getting caught"

You know what is interesting? The first thing Adam and Eve did after sinning is hide. They felt shame for the first time. Even when toddlers are ready to potty train they go and hide behind something because they know better. I see this often when people are around pastors or someone who makes them feel convicted they turn tail and run, or start making up lies. Even the shallow "how ya doin" to your neighbor at the last social gathering and you answer "oh great". Are you hiding from the truth so you don't have to explain yourself? Are you great? Why aren't you honest? Why aren't you sharing your struggles with your people? truth sets you free.

"Don't pretend to be something that you're not"

We wear masks. We pretend to be something we are not. our Image, reputation, fear of rejection drive this. We pretend we have it all together, when just moments ago I said hurtful words to my husband/child you name it. Our hearts may be hard, and we pretend they are not. We may be totally bitter and never try to understand the other persons point of view.

"I'm a mess and so are you" "so bring your brokenness and I'll bring mine"

um yes! ding ding ding! I'm a complete mess. I"m broken. So lets be honest. How about we take a look at the ten commandments;


The Ten Commandments

“You shall have no other gods before[a] me.

“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

“You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

“You shall not murder.

“You shall not commit adultery.

“You shall not steal.

“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”



1 & 2 : This must get old to God but I have so many times put other people on pedestals. I have put jobs, friends, my reputation, boyfriends, and my husband before God. My selfish motives have come before God making my priorities gods before God.

3: Lord have mercy I have used your name in vain. This I'm thankful I have tried my darndest to keep my words clean, but this is more of a heart issue for me than tongue. I cringe when people take the Lords name in vain. But its always interesting when people who don't believe in God are cursing him. so again guilty here.

4. Sabbath. I just sighed. Because I have been learning more about the importance of a day of rest, and am becoming more convicted of it. As I now have a business and still have dishes and laundry to do on Sundays I have to say no to working and prep so the work doesn't have to be done. This one seems a bit tricky, but really if God needed a day of rest after creating the world I surely need a day of rest after each week. He wants us to re-charge and I FAIL all the time. Alrighty friends needing accountability on this one!!

5. Honor your father and mother. Well I could probably put #9 lying on this one too looking back when I lived under their roof. I many times went against my parents will. I got a kick out of rebelling over things that didn't really matter. But it did matter to God, and I didn't see that. I still sometimes years later think I may know better, which is silly. but again guilty.

6. Murder. Big word, with a bigger meaning than you may be thinking. I'm a murderer. 1st John 3:15 "Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him." Need I say more? I haven't truly hated anyone that I have crossed paths with, but I have had my moments of hatred towards people. that makes me a murderer.

7. Adultery. Ok since I'm being honest here, you may need to go back and read some of my past blogs but sex binds you. You become one. "married" So I married more than one man, therefore committing adultery. I sadly cheated on boyfriends also, with my hardened heart I had. Another aspect of adultery is Matt 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" I really am so thankful that I don't struggle with lusting since being married, but I can't honestly say I have never done it in the last 10 years. Satan is crafty and has snuck in my brain a few times and I admit I've been guilty of this.

8. Stealing. Ugh. The pit of my stomach I still feel guilty about stealing things in my youth! I one time stole a gift card for $100 and felt so guilty immediately I gave it to my sister. boom. admitted it. Sorry mom and dad. (I've taken this up with God many times because of the guilt) And the other one I still loose sleep over sometimes is I stole a shirt that was name brand out of a give away pile for people who needed it much more than I did. I don't think I ever wore it because I felt so bad. Plus people were watching. I had lost my mind during that dark time. So yes I've stolen. Still feel sick.

9. Lies. oh boy howdy, have I told some stories. I white lies. "protected" people from the truth. yep yep yep. Lied to my parents because I wanted to go to a party, and I've fibbed about the new clothes in the closet to my husband. heck I tell white lies to my children often so they don't know the truth. this one is hard when they aren't ready for the truth at their juvenile ages, but I'm learning each word matters. guilty. sadly still guilty. Father forgive me. "Truth is harder than the lies"


10. Covet. Man I have some friends with some really nice homes, swimming pools, backsplashes, cars, clothing, vehicles, getaways and what looks like complete financial freedom. I'm so so so happy we don't struggle with finances thanks to my smarty pants husband, but he keeps me cheap and not over indulgent. He keeps me grounded and helps me see what really matters. So I'm happy to drive my vehicles that are always 10-15 years old, and not spend the thousands to makeover my home in the way I would love to for my own self. But I am so guilty of wanting what others have.


So I'm a mess. Are you after seeing these standards handed to Moses from God??? I think you may be a bit messy too. These sins against God bind us in chains. But He has handed us the keys to these chains. He has freely given us GRACE, FORGIVENESS HE laid down his life to set us free from these chains.

"There is Freedom Found When we lay our secrets down at the cross" "mercy is waiting on the other side"

So these secrets I'm telling you today I have laid down at the cross, and have brought me freedom. My chains are set free because of what He has done for me. His blood has covered us fully. You fully.

Your pain, your self hatred, your cutting, your depression, your insecurities, if your offended, bitter, sexual sin, your lies, your hatred towards others, your sin, your ugly. He has already forgiven and made new. He wants to turn your ashes into beauty. all you have to do is take it. take the crown of beauty. He has a crazy love for you!! You don't have to earn his love, he already loves you more than you can imagine. He died for YOU. Mercy is waiting for you, and its right in front of you.

Lay your secrets down. Get them out! Get counsel. Talk to someone, ask forgiveness for wrong doings. LAY THEM DOWN. Write them on a index card and burn them. Get on your knees and confess them out loud. You fill in the blank; My secret/brokenness is ____________________________________________ Jesus I lay this down to you, cover it with your blood and I confess my sin, living in sin, hiding from you and putting on a mask. Thank you for your forgiveness, mercy and crazy love. I repent, and receive your healing and freedom in Jesus mighty name, AMEN. Freedom is near. This is exciting.

I'm so so thankful I have been set free in so many ways. But here is another insight. We are like onions. When its due time God deals with our junk as we are ready. I have had some pretty dark layers peeled off and healed, but he is still peeling me and healing me. My "Aha" moments still come so often, that I'm in awe of his love for me even more. If I'm honest, it does change my life and set me free. If we're honest.

"and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor" Isaiah 61:3


copy and paste link below to watch youtube video of "If Were Honest" by Franchesca Battistelli

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDcTvtuuVU8