Do you feel like your life is full of unmet or failed expectations? Like waking up from NyQuil in a "drunken haze" kind of unmet expectation? let me explain.
Last night as I prepared to go to bed, I took a good cough suppressant that I had purchased earlier in the day in hopes rest would come to help make up for the night before. (night before I was awoken many times by a restless, hot, sick, coughing 2 year old and come to find out double ear infection). For a week now I've been taking NyQuil every night, and awoken in a blurry state. And as a parent of young children the amount of needs that need to be fulfilled every morning are overwhelming especially in a "drunken" state. (can I get and amen??!) So after downing the correct amount of cough suppressant I headed to bed thinking I was so smart not to take NyQuil to help my morning to come. Well and hour later somehow I am in a coughing state. And really only one side of my throat, and I'm sitting up asking why? Again? I just so badly wanted to sleeeeeep! So In a cough suppressant haze I go to the couch to sit up and on my way take a shot of NyQuil because surly I'll fall asleep. No I didn't think twice or count the hours until I would be awake, I just did it.
So morning comes and the pitter patter of feet come in when its still dark and I'm certain its the middle of the night. then a light switch flips on and two more feet come pitter pattering down the stairs. All I can think is seriously? It cannot be morning already. Now I have to admit I'm one who likes to have her sleep. To a fault. Like I don't want to get up and help my kids if I didn't get sleep. Actually its worse than that, to a selfish degree I want sleep. I would be happy if my kids could get themselves ready each day and I could just sleep. I even made a sign that says "Joy Comes in The Morning" and my husband was laughing at me because I'm not such a "joy" in the morning.
So after repeated feet coming to my room, I get to my feet and my head does not want to be upright. Immediately three kids are whining and crying over each other, and I want to turn around and bury my head back into my bed. But thats not an option. Why? Because I entered this phase of life called parenthood.
This grueling, sleepless, thankless, gray hair turning, job. Where I am daily having unmet expectations. From the spills, puking, potty accidents, the running your head into a wall kind of unmet expectations. Oh and then there is stepping on a lego to go along with it. Yes nothing is worse in a state of exhaustion or rage. And I feel like these footy pajamas and socks need a warning sign "child will fall down on wood floors". We need traction on all of our foot coverings around here.
Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Yes I must admit, I'm still writing this in a NyQuil drunken haze, so I hope that you can follow with me. No matter who you are or what is going on in your life now or looking at your past you have had things you expected to go a certain way, and interruptions come. Life happens somewhere between the bathroom and the kitchen sink.
When I reflect on Gods word and unmet expectations I'm overwhelmed with examples. From Adam to Jesus and beyond. Even Jesus was not what the Jews were expecting in a savior. That is why still to this day they still do not believe He is the Christ their Savior! He wasn't the royal "King" they were expecting. He didn't meet their expectations! When He really exceeds what we need. We wanted a bright and shining armor to save us, when we got a baby born in a barn that grew up and died on a cross for my sins. So again there is a difference between what we want and what we need. And our all knowing God certainly knows what we really need. He can also grant us what we need, like rest and eternal life.
We didn't expect a carpenter, or a manger. We didn't expect someone who conversed with "sinners". We didn't expect overturned tables or walking on water, but what we got was better than what we expected or even imagined. Through our earthly failed expectations, God intercedes with plans for something better to come. He paid our ransom. His innocent blood was shed. And that same blood covers my sin. My failures. And my failed expectations.
There is a "silver lining" in our interruptions. Like the bleeding woman was an interruption to Jesus going to heal the dying young girl. Lessons to be learned and miracles to be had in those moments. God is refining us in these moments. I've come to expect parenthood is just hard. I have to embrace the chaos and interruptions. The failed expectations I have for my children and the pressure I put on myself as a parent. I cannot be everything my kids need, because ultimately they need Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can meet our expectations. Even though He may teach us in ways we don't expect.
So embrace the unmet expectations...please just try for a moment. Some are definitely harder than others. No one expects to loose a child. Not everyone expects to outlive their spouse. Not everyone expects the cancer diagnosis. No. But through the pain, suffering, he is refining you. And he will deliver you. Deliver either from it, through it, or by it. Whatever "it" is please put it in the space below.
Father please help me through my unmet expectation of __________________________________________________________. I need you to carry the yoke on this one. I know I'm not enough for my children and those around me, so please intercede. Thank you for filling the gap that I cannot fill. Holy spirit fill me and overflow my cup. Bring me peace and goes beyond understanding. fill my heart with your love, and conscious with your fulfilled expectation of the cross. You marked my forehead. I was bought with a price. I am yours. Forgive me for limiting you and focusing only on myself. Use me today, and thank you for your comfort. Amen.
So although I woke up this morning with a haze and my wants are different than my needs there are expectations all around me. I expect my kids to get to school. I expect my power to be on and my family to live through this day. Who knows what this day brings, but I can rest in that God has it in control. And ultimately I know that no matter what happens eternity is mine. We have got to run this race(life) to win the prize (eternity in heaven).
"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:14
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