The Storm

Isaiah 43:2
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."

I have friends and friends children that have been diagnosed with cancer that "doesn't look good". I wake up in bed to hear a confession that my child has been to "re-focus" at school three times already this year. No one shows to Sunday Night Bible study. Helpers, but not expected youth come to Youth breakfast ministry. Feel like I'm failing my husband and family as he comes home with stressful job changes. Cannot get ahead on cleaning/organizing my home. More friends are loosing babies. More friends being taken over by fear and anxiety. Big pink elephants in the middle of rooms that no one wants to talk about. The largest ministry I help serve with 100 moms I feel like I'm failing as a leader. I feel defeated in leadership conflict. Husbands grandpa died, and I didn't even get to mourn yet because of another crazy day with children and missed the funeral. I read the news and want to weep. My heart aches for the lost. I Feel enclosed by darkness. The enemy is trying to bring me down in every aspect and ministry in my life. But God is still constant. I'm learning to find joy, celebration and thankfulness in the storm.

I often feel like I'm standing in the middle of a firing range. But I'm choosing to celebrate because God is refining me in the fire. I woke up at 3am the other morning with an epiphany that through the storms I wrote above God is actually answering my prayer. For months I have been praying for true humility. And I truly believe through everything that I feel that I'm "failing" at, God is refining me. I'm at a new level of feeling humble and wanting to serve. When I'm put in the place where I am reminded that I'm truly no better than anyone around me, I want to serve more. I don't deserve Jesus. I didn't deserve the cross. I don't deserve forgiveness, but Jesus has freely given it to me. Humbling? Yes.

I don't "deserve" the storm, but what if I didn't have it? God wouldn't be teaching me this lesson. I want to be refined don't you? And then I think, man this storm really sucks. YES, absolutely I don't want to downplay the crap in your life, but I hope I'm being clear in that there is hope, a silver lining. Sun after the rain, and we may even look at the sun differently after that rain. I'm so humbled that God is so much bigger than I can even understand.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."


I fully realize I'm living first world storms, and I'm constantly able to take a step back and realize how blessed I am. We still have running water. We don't have bomb shells flying over our heads. I can go to church and worship freely. I can go to a public place without the fear of being killed by terrorists. But my point is we have daily struggles, fears, anxieties, let downs, illness, and failures that are our storms, and bring us down. We can be crippled by our pain, or choose to rejoice in the process of refining. Humbling? Yes.

Until recently I still had a thorn in my side when I thought of my past sexual violators. When and if their names or family members would come up I would cringe. So I received a word from God to contact them. To tell them I forgave them. To completely clean the slate, which brought me more freedom. I no longer cringe, but pray for them. I pray they and their families will come to Christ, and find a new freedom in HIM. I also asked for their forgiveness because I let myself into some bad situations, and didn't fight for myself like I should have. Humbling to ask their forgiveness? Yes. Freedom and refining as a result? Absolutely!

Giving thanks and praise in the storm has brought me new joy, and this is my prayer for you. Choose joy my friend. Even a good weeping can cleanse the soul. Breath out the bad, inhale the good. Breath in the Holy Spirit, and exhale the evil spirits saying "you aren't good enough", or the ones bringing you fear. In the name of Jesus cast out those demons. Claim it. You are good enough. God made you just right because he doesn't make mistakes. He is perfect although we are not, so take His yoke upon you.


James 1:2
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,"

You may be in this time of trial, Praying you find peace, joy, and refinement. Much Love! xoxo