Inadequate

As I feel the nudge to start writing a blog I feel totally inadequate. Inadequate because I really am. I'm not a perfect mom,leader, wife, friend, daughter or sister. But the good news is none of us are or will be. It creates a reliance on God to fill the gaps. My husband (amazing as he is I was reminded this week) will never fulfill all my needs. As I will also never fulfill all of his. Only through Jesus Christ my Savior whose wounds healed me will I ever feel fulfilled.

I find myself wanting to be like others who I see Jesus shining through, when Jesus just wants me to know he has always been by my side and has me just where he wants me. Even as I sit here writing with one child on my lap and the other two begging for attention I know I'm totally inadequate to meet each of their needs. Frustrating? Yes. As these little miracle monsters entered my life I have never felt more inadequate, which forces more reliance on God. I have to pray more throughout my day so I don't rip my 3 year old's head off in my moments of weakness or anger. I have to ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit so HE is leading me. NOT me. We have to ask to be dead to ourselves, and completely filled with God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. His word says that we will have what we have asked of Him if it is in His will. I'm certain if you ask Him to be filled you will have what you have asked of him.

My life is still messy on a daily basis, but I have hope in the Lord. I have His grace that is more than sufficient for me. I just have to accept it, which I think is for some reason the hardest part. Even though I mess up, God still sent Jesus to die for ME and YES YOU! His only son. I cannot imagine sacrificing one of my children for anyone else on this planet. We cannot even fathom this Love he has for us. "No eye has seen, no ear has heard no mind has even conceived what He has in store for those who love him" That verse blows my mind every time I hear it. So instead of feeling inadequate I urge you to journey with God with me. This journey in truly accepting Him as your Savior, and that His grace IS more than enough to cover all the horrible mistakes we have made in our lives. Journey through our inadequacies. To cover our guilt, shame and regret with Jesus' blood. That is why He died, we simply have to believe and accept. Its a free gift. The best gift you could ever open and accept as your own.

So lets trade our ugly ashes in for a crown of beauty. Have gladness instead of mourning. Put on a garment of praise instead of despair, and we will be called oaks of righteousness. How cool is that? We can be set free. We can be released from darkness. Lets turn our inadequacies to Gods glory!


"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor, He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve in Zion- to BESTOW ON THEM A CROWN OF BEAUTY INSTEAD OF ASHES, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair. They will be Called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:1-3